


Day 1 - Firsts

by Sang_argente



Series: sambenny love week 2017 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hallucinations, M/M, Pre-Slash, Sam Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 07:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10612140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sang_argente/pseuds/Sang_argente
Summary: Sam doesn't get Benny. Sure, at first it was sort of hate at first sight but Sam is self-aware enough to know that he never grew out of the stage of little brother that doesn't like sharing his big brother.The point is, Sam spends a lot of time skirting the Benny issue.





	

Sam doesn't get Benny. Sure, at first it was sort of hate at first sight but Sam is self-aware enough to know that he never grew out of the stage of little brother that doesn't like sharing his big brother. There was a lot of hurt, too, because he and Dean both found someone else but only Dean can keep his new friend. Plus there's the whole Dean can be friends with monsters but God forbid Sam try, because Dean can keep his monsters in line but Sam is just like them. Or whatever.

The point is, Sam spends a lot of time skirting the Benny issue. He doesn't call Martin, as much as he'd like to, and he doesn't give Dean shit when he catches him sneaking out. He basically just pretends Benny doesn't exist. 

That goes to shit when he's doing the Trials and he gets stuck in Purgatory with Bobby’s soul. He's just starting to think that they're going to be stuck there, leviathan kibble for the rest of eternity, when Benny shows up. They fight well together and Sam holds Bobby back afterwards.

“He's Dean's friend,” Sam explains, almost following it up with a like you but he stops himself. It's not Bobby’s fault. Dean's just easier to get along with, always has been.

He ignores the look Benny gives him and soon he's crawling out of Hell’s backyard, two too many souls in his body. He's been possessed enough to know exactly what and how many are in him and it's extremely disconcerting. When they get topside, he nearly swallows his tongue in his rush to get them out- out- out!

Unfortunately, Dean thinks Benny did such a great job saving Sam that he should tag along back to the bunker. Sam doesn't like the bunker, too empty and cold and full of what-ifs, but that doesn't mean he's okay with a vampire moving in, not that Dean bothers to ask.

It also makes the whole pretending Benny doesn't exist thing much harder. Instead of potential cases and sneaky phone calls, Benny's presence fills every nook and cranny of the old bunker. He's in the kitchen pushing Dean away from the stove, he's in the garage tinkering with an old motorcycle, he's in the library thumbing through the bookshelves, he's in the archives looking at the old artifacts with curiosity and caution. Ignoring Benny is like trying to ignore a ghoul chewing on your arm. Sam knows because he's had to ignore that too.

He tries to be polite, uses his please and thank yous and always leaves the room when Benny and Dean are hanging out. He does everything he can to not upset Benny. Whether it's because pissing of a vampire is like poking a bear with a stick or because he's afraid of Dean's temper more than ever these days, he doesn't know. He just keeps his head down and his mouth shut.

That is, until he comes home from a run and finds Benny in his room.

“What the Hell are you doing in here?” Sam spits out, extremely conscious of his pounding heart. He knows Benny's been sticking to bagged blood but live prey is a siren’s song to vampires.

Benny shrugs. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don't,” Sam says harshly. He can feel the hot anger creeping up his face and yelling is inevitable at this point. He tries his best to stay calm and get Benny out of his room. “Get out.”

“Such anger,” Benny says jokingly but the words flip a switch in Sam's brain. He sees Benny's lips moving but the whole world's gone blurry.

“Get out!” Sam yells, striking like a snake and curling his fingers in Benny's henley. He throws him toward the door and snatches a knife of his desk. “Get the fuck out of my room!”

“What the Hell is going on here?”

Sam turns and sees Dean, his big brother, standing in the hall. Except it's not his brother, not with that smirk and those ice blue eyes. 

“I'm going to kill you,” he hisses, moving forward with the knife. “I'm so fucking sick of you ruining my life! Get out! Get out of my room and get. Out. Of. My. Head!”

He thinks he sees ‘Dean’ frown and pull Benny away but ignores it and throws his door shut. He falls on his bed, tucking the knife under his pillow, and cries himself to sleep.

It's dark when he wakes to a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” Sam croaks. His head is pounding and his throat is dry and he knows deep in his bones that he'll have to apologize to Dean again. It's been awhile since he's had an episode, but that doesn't mean that they're gone. 

“It's me,” Benny says quietly, almost a whisper. “I brought pills and water.”

“I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you,” Sam whispers into his pillow. He knows Benny's can hear him, just like he can see him in the dark room. “Dean?”

“He was working on the car with a sick look on his face until about ten minutes ago. He said he was going for dinner.”

Sam knows that means his brother is upset but trying to bury it. And he's bringing home soup from the diner in Lebanon as a ‘sorry I left you in a hole with the devil and now you're crazy’ gift.

“Here.”

Sam lifts his head and feels cold water run down his throat followed by two small pills. He swallows carefully and lays back down, eager to go back to sleep until Dean gets back.

“Thank you.”

“Y’know, if we had ever talked, we could've avoided this.”

“I know,” Sam says. “But why would we talk?”

“We live together,” Benny says, confused.

“No, you and Dean live together. I just live here.”

“What does that mean?”

Sam frowns and rubs his face against the pillow. This is definitely not helping his headache.

“You and Dean are friends, we're not, and Dean and I barely manage to be brothers.”

“We could be friends,” Benny says and if Sam wasn't tired and in pain he'd say it sounds almost hopeful. “Y’know, if you could find the time to talk to me.”

“Dean's friends never want to be my friends,” Sam says tiredly and in some distant way he knows he's being childish but he's just so tired.

“Well, that's not what I'm about. Dean tells me you're a good man and that's good enough for me so we're friends now, Sam.”

“I'd like that,” Sam slurs as he falls asleep. For a second he thinks he feels fingers in his hair but then the dreams take over.

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for [saintedsam](http://saintedsam.tumblr.com) for sambenny love week on tumblr. see more of my love week contributions [here.](http://delicatesammy.tumblr.com)


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